Glynis Wright & Co Family Solicitors & Mediators

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Feelings of Hatred… Parental Alienation… Shift in Residence

Rina Mistry Family Solicitor

Rina Mistry, Family Lawyer

Going through a separation is difficult and the majority of these cases affect the children. It is clear from research that a child’s reaction and feelings are influenced by the adult behaviour to which they are exposed to.

As a lawyer, I see many separating couples unable to control their hostility towards the other. Little do they realise that this can damage their ability to responsibly co-parent. The children are immediately exposed to a risk of harm when their own parents are unable to put their needs first. In extreme cases, parents will abuse their parental responsibility as a consequence of their negative feelings.  A typical example of this, is alienating the other parent from a child’s life. This can cause grave emotional harm and the consequences of which can be significant.

Parental Alienation is a form of psychological abuse against both the child and the other parent.  Parental alienation is now recognised by CAFCASS as arising ‘when a child’s hostility towards one parent is not justified and is the result of psychological manipulation by the other parent’.

This means that a parent is being rejected by their child for no justified reason having previously experienced a normal and loving relationship. Normally, the main aim for that parent is to sever the other parents’ relationship with the child as a form of punishment. Parents fail to understand that children should not be used as weapons.

The consequence of such action can be significant and can lead a Court to consider a transfer of residence. This was the decision made by Judge Lloyd North in a recent case heard in Family Division of the High Court in London. The Mother’s persistent hateful feelings for the Father had an effect on how the child saw his father. The Judge concluded that the eight-year-old boy would suffer significant emotional harm if he continued to live with his Mother and therefore made the decision for him to live with his Father. The Judge commented that the shift in residence would allow the possibility of a positive relationship with both parents.

There is now special guidance available to CAFCASS officers on suspected parent alienation cases called Child Impact Assessment Framework (CIAF). This aims to examine the underlying cause for any rejection and identifies any risk exposed to the child. It is hoped that this will provide a robust investigation and protect the children’s interests from the outset.

It is important to seek legal advice as soon as possible to minimise any further damage to the parent- child relationship.

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New no-fault divorce law to end blame game

Leicester family solicitor and mediator Glynis Wright.

Justice Secretary David Gauke announced that new legislation for a no-fault divorce will be introduced to end the “blame game” in marital breakdowns, in a bid to reduce family conflict.

The new law will be introduced to Parliament to update the 50-year-old divorce law, the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, that requires an applicant to prove that their partner is at fault through adultery, desertion or unreasonable behaviour. If applicants can agree, they can part after two years of separation, but in the absence of this, applicants should wait until they have been living apart for five years.

Divorce can be a difficult process, but having to show fault can increase conflict, therefore impacting children, childcare and financial arrangements; this can have serious consequences, which is why urgent reform is needed to remove this blaming process.

National family justice body, Resolution, has welcomed the announcement and thanked everyone who has been involved with their campaign – whether it was getting involved on social media, reaching out to local news and MPs or attending their Lobby Day. All played a crucial role in keeping this campaign in the spotlight.

Based on public consultation, the change to existing the divorce law will establish a minimum six-month timeframe to enable couples to reflect on their decision as well as abolishing the ability to contest a divorce.

Resolution’s Chair, Margaret Heathcote said:

“In my speech to Resolution’s National Conference, I called on the Lord Chancellor to introduce legislation as soon as possible to end the blame game. Today’s announcement is an important move towards that.

We remain concerned that so much government and Parliamentary time is being spent on Brexit and other issues at the moment and look forward to working with the Ministry of Justice and others to ensure the law is changed at the earliest possible opportunity.

If you’re separating, and you’re faced with having to make unnecessary and unhelpful accusations against your ex on the divorce petition, there is nothing more important than this reform in the law. Let’s now get on with it, and make our divorce law fit for purpose.”

The journey for reform is not over yet; there is still a way to go before the legislation is in place, so there is still time to get involved on social media, reach out to the local news, or blog about it on their websites.

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What is Collaborative Law?

Glynis Wright & Co Family Solicitors & Mediators

Lisa-Marie Leanders, Associate Family Solicitor

Collaborative law is a process which provides an alternative method for dealing with divorce, children issues and the resolution of financial matters following the breakdown of a relationship. It is different from mediation in that you will both have a legal advisor present at all meetings, thereby benefiting from legal advice at every stage of the process.

This is a co-operative approach in which both parties and their lawyers commit to deciding matters without involving the Court (other than to deal with the legal formalities of the divorce and to approve the financial settlement you reach). Any negotiations are conducted in face to face meetings with everyone working together in an open and transparent manner, to resolve the issues between you in a way that is tailored to you and your family in order to best meet your needs.

What are the benefits of Collaborative Law?

  • It enables you and your spouse or partner to set the agenda and ensures everyone is aware about what matters to you most in the negotiations;
  • You can ask questions and seek further clarification then and there in a face-to-face meeting rather than waiting for letters to be exchanged;
  • You can move at your own pace through the process – Court proceedings can take many months or even years, whereas with Collaborative Law, meetings can be arranged according to your timetable because it is a far more flexible process and a resolution can generally be reached far sooner;
  • There is less room for misunderstandings and any misunderstandings that do arise can be dealt with immediately;
  • There is no need for lengthy, aggressive or costly correspondence between solicitors;
  • Other professionals can advise you both together and attend the face to face meetings, for example, an IFA or a divorce coach;
  • You get to decide your future and you can explore creative options that might work for your family unit rather than having a result imposed upon you in a courtroom;
  • Once an agreement is reached the solicitors already involved will draft the agreement and file it at court – this is just paperwork and no one needs to attend court;
  • This process often helps couples to maintain a more harmonious relationship than can otherwise be the case. Being able to avoid acrimonious court proceedings means that couples are often better able to communicate and maintain a good relationship after divorce which is particularly beneficial if children are involved.

What next?

To deal with your matter collaboratively, you must each choose a lawyer that is collaboratively trained; here at Glynis Wright & Co, we are one of the few firms locally that support collaborative law and have a specialist collaborative lawyer within the firm called Lisa-Marie Leanders, the author of this blog.

We pride ourselves on our non-confrontational and constructive approach to family law matters.  We have specialist solicitors who are able to guide you through the process of separation and divorce, guaranteeing you have the best legal support and the advice that you need to reach the most beneficial agreement for your family as a whole.

 

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Mediation – Putting Children First

In divorce and separation cases, it has been a well established principle of the British legal system that children come first. In divorce cases where the Court is being asked to consider dividing assets, the first consideration is the needs of any children that are under 18. The welfare of the children is the Court’s most important consideration in cases about arranging care for the children, with the wishes and feelings of the child taken into account, in light of their age and understanding.

Cases are supposed to be dealt with quickly, as a delay in deciding the outcome can be harmful to the child. So why is that children continue to be affected and impacted by separation and divorce? Why is there an increase in children needing counselling and access to mental health services?

Unfortunately, our Court system is overburdened with disputes over children, and with legal aid largely withdrawn from the majority of people (except for those cases involving domestic violence), there are more parents resorting to representing themselves. They attempt to find their own way through the law.

So, what is the answer?

The use of mediation services is on the rise as more parents are seeing the benefit of making their own decisions. The process of mediation is where parents can make their own informed decisions. A resolution-trained mediator will not only be able to act as an independent and impartial mediator/facilitator. They help the parties to make their own decisions but they also have full knowledge of the law and procedures governing children disputes. Research shows that if parents can make their own informed decisions jointly, then this helps long term co-parenting – which will benefit the child.

Gayle Rowley of Glynis Wright & Co Family Solicitors & Mediators, Leicester

Gayle Rowley, Senior Family Solicitor & Family Mediator

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